I would consider myself to be a pretty open person. My general policy seems to be, if you wanna know, I’m gonna tell you… and I might even tell you if you don’t! I prefer to share things going on in my life rather than keep them bottled up. Which maybe is partly why I do like to blog and journal and write in notebooks and go for long coffee chats.. I JUST GOTTA GET IT ALL OUT!
Anyway, recently I received some bad news and not of the my-favourite-mascara-is-about-to-be-discontinued-variety but really earth shattering, life shaking stuff. It’s interesting to me because suddenly I became a lot less open about it. I didn’t want to share with people the hurt I was experiencing and I didn’t want to talk out my emotions and feelings and thoughts.
I just wanted to be quiet.
And you know, I don’t regret my decision to keep things more silent than ever before. I think for me, I needed a couple of quiet weeks to get my head and heart and mind around what was going on. I needed to get to a place of peace with God on my own. That needed to happen and it did.
However, once those two weeks were over, the news got worse and I found myself reaching out to a few people. I must admit I was completely blown away by their responses. Words, actions, kindness, loving support, warm hugs.. all of it. I don’t know what I was expecting but it was amazing to be able to be loved by my friends and the people closest to me.
I think sometimes we need to let our friends be our friends. We need to let people love us and reach out to us and we need to get the support we need. I think we need to let our friends be good to us. To keep them in the dark about our struggles and pain robs them of the chance to love us and that is a key part of relationships. Yes, Paul Simon might be content to remain as a rock, an island and have no need for friendship cos friendship causes pain but I know that I was built for relationships, friendships and community and that it’s important for me to express things and get help when I need it.
So despite the rough days, I truly believe that God cares for me and uses the people around me to comfort me.
And so, I do feel truly blessed to have such kind and loving people in my life.